Welcome to the Chilli Chaps review website

Well, well, well... the Spice Lounge in Warfield.. wow..

My pick, and I'd tried to locate a restaurant that was offering some form of deal in Berkshire as we're a bit light on visits in that county, and on a Tuesday for a change.

After muchos research I found the above restaurant offering the standard banquet of starter / main / side / naan or rice / coffee or ice cream afterwards, so I phoned to book and happy days I thought ;)))

The chap that answered was fairly insistent the banquet deal was on a Wednesday, but soon acquiesced as I informed him that Tuesday was plastered all over their website, and fair play said to come along anyway.

We arrived to a lukewarm reception off of what we think was the proprietor and shown to our seats. Doms were served (not included in their deal) and these were actually quite enjoyable and fresh.

The banquet "menu" was then issued to us, which consisted of 2 x A4 bits of printed paper held together by a ring binder, and reminded me of something I'd submitted at Junior School for a project I did on Guildford Keep early 80's.

Our starters arrived; quite a lot of food for my eggy kebab, but unfortunately devoid of any seasoning or real taste; Chap 2's "tikka" was certainly not tikka'd at all either and was quite strange.

Draught Kingfisher would have normally cheered us up, but this was fairly flat and warm, so the chaps went for Kingfisher in bottles which was mildly better. I reverted to Coke but unfortunately the Coke was as flat as my eggy kebab but I'd lost heart to say something by then as we were feeling like second class citizens with our inconvenient banquet as it was.

Mains: I went for lamb with a lentil dish from the limited Guildford Keep menu, and it looked extremely unappetising however the lamb wasn't so bad, but again extremely bland with non-existent flavour or seasoning.

Can't remember what the other chaps had but I can remember them being as equally unimpressed as myself.

I'm wondering if the main chef may have been off and this was a temporary cover, as I'm unsure how the good people of Warfield could put up with this "Indian food" to be honest.

We left quite a lot of food and the waiter offered to pack it up for us - something I'd have normally taken up on - but I was so disappointed I declined which seemed to surprise him.

Coffee and ice cream afterwards was standard, but of course limited and very robustly pointed out by the proprietor in a "are you having a laugh you Tuesday night - really should be Wednesday night" banquet scumbags.

Wow.

And wow again.

I was very pleased when we left but thoroughly dismayed with the place - what an experience and not in a good way - please see our scores to see how things panned out, but you may have guessed this probably won't be top of our list of places to drop everything immediately and visit again.